Post-Game Realization

Wake Forest beat Duke.

Wake Forest, former #1 because of a highly unfair and bullshit game against VT...

...beat Duke, the NOW former #1 team.

We beat Duke, yet again. No team in the nation is undefeated, but Wake Forest has clearly shown it's the best in the nation.

Fuck you AP Polls for constantly trying to piss on our parade all the time; fuck you ACC refs, you're the worst in the whole damn country. Try being objective for once and make fair calls you worthless sacks of...of...something or other.

friday, Friday, FRIDAY

This Friday is a very important date.

Most importantly, The Tonight Show with David Letterman is broadcasting an interview with Bill Hicks mother, Mary Hicks. Along with this, the show is FINALLY broadcasting Hicks' last ever, final television performance, and the 12th performance for the Letterman Show specifically.

Around October of 1993, Hicks gave this performance on the Letterman Show, greeted with applause and positive feedback from everyone around. Two hours later in his hotel, he received a phone call from producers saying his entire act was cut from the show due to "unsuitable material". He was the first comedian to ever be censored by the CBS studios.

The performance consisted of material that Hicks was most proud of, and was his favorite set to perform on the circuit. The Letterman Show was the only television program he wished to perform on, as he was a friend and fan of David Letterman. This was a truly devastating blow to him.

Four months later, Hicks died on February 26, 1994 of pancreatic cancer at the age of 32.

15 years later, David Letterman and the CBS studios are finally doing the right thing and airing this supposed "unsuitable" performance in its entirety. It has never been seen by anyone except for Hicks' mother, who owns the sole copy in existence. The master tapes were destroyed shortly after the set, and one copy was set aside for her; it was given to her after her son's death I believe. Bill Hicks himself never got to see the performance he was most proud of.

If you are a fan of the truth, and really wish to know the last great comedian of our time, please tune in this Friday. Tivo it, DVR it. Hell, copy it on VHS.

If you think I'm overreacting to the importance of this man...four days after his death, Carrot Top won the American Comedy Award.

Motherfucking Carrot Top. The American public is nothing but a herd of ignorant fucking sheep.

Writing A Lot

I'm in that other journalism course now, after lots of wheeling and dealing.

I've got a lot of writing to do for this semester.

Carpal Tunnel, here I come!

F'in A

Apparently I don't have enough credit hours to get my journalism minor.

I just found out tonight, basically when it's pretty much too late to fix that problem.

Fuck you too, Wake.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Kelly.

I love you so much.

You always make me smile, even when I don't want to. I can't thank you enough for the happiness that you've brought me, and I want you to know that I will never let you hurt, never let you feel sad about anything again. You deserve the world, and I'll be damned if anyone stops me from giving you just that.

Have a great birthday, baby. Please feel better and keep warm. Don't party too hard.

<3

Birthday Today

Happy birthday Buni, you old hag.

...

How quickly forget I'm the only one reading any of this.

Rick Warren

is a blathering scumbag; hypocritical in every sense and does not deserve to be allowed to speak in public.

With one hand, he raises his "humanitarian" efforts of supporting AIDS research and the likes, while with the other he comes down hard upon the heads of gays, lesbians, and anyone "different" from what he likes, slandering all of us while asking us to donate to his "cause".

Don't listen to him and his lies. He is a snake oil salesman, a sleaze, pure dirt.

His presence alone almost made the Inauguration, and the prospect of a hopeful future, pointless. I fortunately skipped out on his invocation early in the day, but just recently heard his god-touting prayer.

I'm so glad to see that Separation of Church and State matters so much to this country. Thank the good Lord Almighty for our freedoms and liberties to justly serve this country, and to be justly served by this country.

damnit

Speechy

Well, it was a good Inauguration speech. Concise, eloquent, and easy to understand.

His imagery was vast, and his meaning was clear. This doesn't immediately mean that Obama won't suck as a president; he very well could be absolutely terrible at the job. He could also be the best thing that ever happened to the planet, I don't know.

I just hope something good comes out of these next 4-8 years.

We need it.

Inauguration Day

In class, watching the Inauguration online.

First, it was Hulu - now, we're on MSNBC. All have lagged, all have had the audio mis-synced.

I was on the BBC, but failed to bring it up to the Prof., which is fine because the site eventually booted me for not being British enough. I hate that damned restriction.

Anywhom, we're missing yet another religious benediction, so that's fine with me.

I don't know what Rick Warren spoke of, so I'm in a good mood.

Class is on, back later.

Snow

where is it?

what a ride

Just finished watching 88 Minutes and Bangkok Dangerous back-to-back.  My mind has been blown.  So much silly hair.  So much silly hair...

I've always liked Nicholas Cage; he's just a crazy guy who does really, really strange movies.  Al Pacino's always good, too, but lately he's been picking bombs to star in.

-sighs- Kelly's birthday is coming real soon, and I can't do anything for her; some hell of a boyfriend I keep turning out to be.  I hope she gets to go out and have some fun - she was thinking of going out with some friends to party a bit...I just hope she keeps safe, but still has some fun.  I miss her a lot, and it really bugs me that I'm stuck here at school.  She'll be 20.  She deserves so much that I can't give her, and dios only knows why she sticks with me.

I love you, baby.  I really do hope you have a fantastic birthday when it comes up, and I promise I'll make it up to you.  You make my life so bright, and I feel like the world is a kinder place when I get to be with you.  Your smile is so warm and inviting, and your giggling is infectious.  I could stare into your eyes for hours, but the only reason I look away is because I feel bad, that I don't deserve that opportunity.  I've done nothing for you, but you still love me.  I swear to you I'll do right, and you'll never have to worry about anything again.

You are the love of my life, Kelly.  You are my everything, and my inspiration.  I hate sounding cliche, but that's the best I can do right now.  I am so happy to be with you, and to know that you love me.  You're the greatest gift I could ever have received, and I want to make you feel like you got something decent out of this relationship too =P.

I know it's early, and I'll post again when the time is right, but I want to make sure I wish you a happy birthday, Kelly.  You are so special to me.  

Love you <3 <3 <3

What do you think?

It's all a lie.

The Man is watching.

I know you're listening.

<_<

>_>

Techno-tronic

Not much ado right now...upstairs watching Nick on his synth.

I shouldn't be surprised at his creativity, but I'm mostly just surprised that anyone can understand the goddamn machine well enough to make music.

Wade's been a no-show all day; we think he's been sleeping all day. That's generally the case.

I miss you.

Sleep

I think I've finally developed poor sleep patterns, which is really bad given school just started back up.

I just don't ever feel like I need to go to sleep until it's around 4am, and that's just no good.

Sometimes my mind wanders while I lay awake in my bed; trees...I tend to see trees when I drift away.

Looking at my left arm, I notice I have an unusual amount of hair that stands up. It's not like there's static in the air, it's just the hair grows up. It's really strange to see with only the glow of the monitor. The hairs seem so long and weird like this, when in daylight they're probably not even visible.

The laptop's coming along; I'm getting most everything finally organized. I have to finish writing this report for a bid at a conference I'm going to soon. Don't wanna finish it, but what can I do?

Wade has a hookah. The current flavor is honey. It smells absolutely fantastic, and doesn't taste bad either, though I only took one hit. He was experimenting with keeping the smoke away from the alarms tonight, and from what I can tell, he succeeded. Most of the suite smells of honey, and the alarms didn't sound. I just hope he's not pushing his luck too far. It really does smell fantastic, though.

Oh well, off to dream-land now.

Hello World, again

Well,

This is just a briefy, but here goes:

Laptop's back and working again.

Classes have started.

Even old, starting to go stale Dr. Pepper tastes fantastic. Warm even.

That is all.

Dane Cook

is a complete fucktard.

Why does he exist?  That should be proof enough there is no God, for him to be a top-billing "comedian".  It makes no sense.  He's never been funny, and never will be.

What a dick.

Minor Crisis

Every now and then I get this feeling in my gut like I've done something horribly wrong.

It's strange especially when I look back on the day and realize my largest accomplishment was actually getting completely dressed.

Sometimes, though, I begin to think about religion, when I get this feeling. Just a few minutes ago, imagery of the Christian Cross, and other relics of that sect began to flash through my mind. I really don't know if it's me feeling bad for leaving behind that way of life, or if I'm feeling bad for ever having been a part of it. It's so hard to tell, that I honestly don't know if there's a way to determine that.

Do I call it a "crisis of faith" if I have no faith, but am thinking about it? I guess now is as good a time as any to recap my religious life:

I was brought up Episcopalian, the American version of the Anglican faith. Catholic Light. We would go every (or almost every) Sunday to St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Greensboro, NC. Week in, week out, the same routine to the point that I memorized half the verses we went over. Sometimes I'll find myself trying to recall them, though now I only get fragments..."forgive us for our trespasses and those who have trespassed against us...thy kingdom come, thy will be done, forever and ever, amen". While those incantations are now vague, I sharply remember sitting in the pews, looking around when I could at all the people, and how over-dressed they were. I also recall the overwhelming raping of my nostrils from Chanel No. 5, Brut, and every other perfume in existance that managed to find its way into the church. I can still feel my lips move along, sometimes quite vocally, other times silently in imitation, to those verses and songs. I never understood why we sat and listened to a man, sometimes a woman, give a lecture on good deeds or anything that happened to strike their fancy, or how that pertained to Jesus. Thinking back...I realize that during sermons, Jesus never really came up that often. I mean, sure, we'd say "through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior" and all that, but, the sermons I can't recall ever specifically dealt with him. It was always about how one of the "Apostles said best" about some experience the speaker had, which is impressive given the 2000 year difference. The Christmas services were nice; the church bell would ring as people prepared for the beginning of the service, and the bell would ring at the end...very beautiful. I can still hear it today. There was this one time, while I was looking at people as they prayed because I finished my little prayer early, and I noticed a woman form the shape of the Cross in front of her. I imitated her, on impulse more than anything, but as I was half-way done, my mom reached over and stopped me...just kind of, swatted my hand away. I never questioned her action, or why what I was doing was wrong, but that particular Sunday sticks with me. The lady had black hair, about shoulder length. I think she had on a black top.

Shortly after my grandaddy died, we (mom, dad, and I) took in my grandmother, where we cared for her as best we could. Mom's side of the family still seems to resent us for wanting to take care of her, and actually having an interest in seeing her happy. I'll never get over that, but that's for another night when I can't sleep. We tried taking her to church at the beginning, but her legs gradually got weaker, and we finally stopped going to church just because it was convenient for all of us. After my grandmother died, we didn't return to church - dad was too busy working every day of the week, and mom had her job too.

During this time of no church, I began to explore my feelings, and question my own faith. I began to see and feel that Christianity didn't suit me as well as it did others. I didn't understand why so many people were so crazy about it. It seemed too stuck, too routine, and just chaotic. It was during this time that I was sitting in World History in high-school, and my teacher, Mr. Kell I believe, covered India that day. In particular, we were covering the religions, and especially Buddhism. Reading the textbook, I was drawn in and cannot recall any of the class after that point, because I was finding every bit of text about Buddhism within that book. I was absorbed and enchanted, thrilled to find something that spoke out to me in a clear, practical manner. There was no martyr to celebrate, no church needed to be a True Believer. All I had to do was obey five simple precepts that were so blatantly obvious to me, I felt like I had found a new home. It felt right; it felt so good to have a reason in my life again. I never denounced Christianity during this time, I just said to myself that I would try Buddhism out, see how this peaceful mindset would work for me. I still remember those days clearly, and I appreciate all they taught me. I learned to explore deeper within myself, and search for what I truly believed. I made it a purpose to never leave any doubt unchecked. I felt so free, released from the bonds of "do good and go to Heaven; do bad and go to Hell". There was simply "do good, see good, live good". The charm of Buddhism has never really left me. While I don't accept the notion that I should worship Buddha or any of the Bodhi's, the guidelines for happy living are still important to me. There is no threat of retribution attached to them, as with every other religion.

For a time, somewhere between high school and around last year, I decided to dabble in more Occultish stuff. I never went as far as to hold a seance, or accept Satan as my new-found lord and savior, but I played with Tarot and simple stuff. I enjoyed the idea of taking nature in for its beauty, but the idea of worship still bothered me. While fanciful, I can't accept that lifestyle.

I find myself today appreciating nature, and loving the earth for the big, beautiful, blue and green thing it is. It's truly amazing, huge, and just intense as hell. I love the sunrise, and I adore the sunset. The stars are so inspiring, and the moon is always enchanting. I find myself appreciating science, and technology, and the endeavors of man towards a total understanding of life. Today, I find myself at times questioning whether I do believe what I feel, and at times loving where I'm at. It's a feeling some people will never shake, and I guess I'm one of them. I can only take these opportunities and make sure to bolster my position, and prove why I feel the way I do.

Growing up, I was a child - young, hopeful, brought up to believe what my parents did so I'd turn out to be a good, proper man one day.

Today, I'm a man with a love for English literature;I am a writer, a thinker, a pain in the ass, a lover, and...free.

I am an atheist. I am an Atheist. The only God is the one we create for ourselves, and I do not need any God or god to justify my life. I am free from dogma, and I love life. I do not wage a "War on Christmas", and I do not want to destroy America's children. I want the freedom to admit who I am, and to believe what I want without being hounded by people who want to "save my soul".

-shrugs-

Happy New Year

Happy New Year.

3 days late.

Happy Year of Science, too!  We've got Darwin and his publication of The Origin of Species, along with the 400th anniversary of Galileo and his awesomeness.

That's all for now.