Sunday, August 10, 2008

Just another random post

I always wonder what other people are thinking about. I don't mean in a "what are you thinking right this moment" kind of way, but, what thoughts are most recurring for them? What's that one thing you seem to dwell on incessantly? For me, it's actually about religion.

I'm still relatively new to the whole atheism game, but I seem to be constantly dwelling on religion(s), religious themes, and I always catch myself looking around for those little religious nuances in everyday life that people use to express themselves in public. I find myself seeing so many 'jesus fish' around where I live, and without fail, my first thought is "Why? Why a fish with a crucifix for eyes?" Also without fail comes my second thought, "Is that thing magnetic, or screwed into the car?"

When not pointing out to myself the obvious fact that the South is religious, always has been religious, and always will be religious, I'm engaging in my favorite pass-time activity, creating scenarios. I wonder if I'd be where I am right now if I had grown up under a more religiously-inclined family, or if I'd grown up Catholic instead of Episcopal. What if my dad had convinced my mom to be Baptist rather than her turning him into an Episcopal? What if I had further pursued my interest in Buddhism and other eastern religions? I wonder if my life choices so far are going to make me ultimately a "bad person" because I have no religion, or if that stigma is just that - a label someone wants to impose on me because they are afraid of dealing with people who do not agree with them 100% on the ultimate authority of the literal truth of the Bible.

Dwelling on the religious is not exactly something I was planning on doing when I decided to, well, abandon religion. I hope it's just one of those phases every new-comer atheist goes through, and I'll be able to do more productive things with my time soon.

HOWEVER, when not being all involved in religion, I just latch onto the most profound thing that affects me. Even if the most startling revelation for the day is that I may never be able to taste the difference between a lemon and a lime, that will be THE main thing I think on all day. I hate being that kind of obsessive.

What I hate even more is when I'm stuck being so obsessive over learning about the actions of some of my friends, and how I begin to wonder if my opinions should change about them, or if I should accept their actions as part of their nature, and continue on as if nothing major has really happened. I mean, the current dwelling hasn't even done anything to me, personally, but her actions bother me. I can't say that I was angry at hearing what she had to say, but I was definitely disappointed by her decisions. However, I have almost no involvement in her life aside from our conversations, but I consider her a friend nonetheless, and it bothered me. I tried to shrug it off and go "well, it's none of my business. It's not part of my life, and I have nothing to do with it." I mean...I used to have feelings for her, and it was only recently when I thought I was finally through with those feelings. This just kinda tugged at them for me, and I don't really enjoy saying that. I have someone in my life now, and she's the most important thing that's ever happened to me, so I shouldn't be feeling the way I am now.


Each day seems to be a different obsession. It's like a "quote of the day" thing; where some people will use that quote to inspire them for the day, my obsessions determine how I'll be for the day. Sometimes it doesn't affect my mood, but some days I want to just hide in my room because I'll most likely lash out at any living being that comes anywhere near me.

I dunno...I guess I'll just deal with things as they come, and keep on keepin' on like I have been. I'm listening to XTC right now, and it's making me happy. Easily one of my all-time favorite bands.

It's now time I bring this little rant to a close. I shall now borrow Pat Condell's closing style with my own thingy:

Peace - because we all need to find it in our own way, rather than having an obscure dogma tell us what they want it to be.

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