Saturday, April 5, 2008

And How We Danced... the mud. Tonight's Shag on the Mag was alright, entertaining as always, but with one minor exception. The rain we'd gotten all day, and for a good part of yesterday, had thoroughly soaked the ground, even what was beneath the tent, so that we were all pretty much drudging about in mud. Fortunately, my shoes wiped clean and a quick visit to the laundry cleaned my pants right up. It's only 4:30 am anywhow...

For some reason, I just can't seem to get fully into these events; there's always something that just kills the mood for me and I can't get into a fun-place anymore. I feel like my date could have had more fun with someone else, but I'm sure anyone who hangs around me could have more fun being around someone else. I really wish I could simply do more to try and make things much more enjoyable for everyone, but it's this nagging feeling of isolation that never goes away, hence the nagging bit.

I didn't know any of her friends...hell...I still don't know HER all that well, and she's graduating early and going away, much for whatever was there to begin with. They (her friends) seem like nice enough people, but there's just something that doesn't exactly click, and I still feel like an outsider, even though they know me by name.

This whole week has really just been miserable, and I guess I was still in a funk today, even with the prospect of partying. The mud sure as hell didn't help.

I told myself when creating this blog that I wouldn't just post bitchings left and right,'s my blog so if I need to just talk for the sake of talking, then I'm doing that.

I don't really have anything important, or relevant, or special to say, but sometimes it's just good to write whatever comes to mind. Mine has been racing non-stop this week, even more than usual, to the point where I feel like if I somehow stop thinking so much, I'm just going to have a massive headache from exhaustion.

When it's not my mind shifting constantly about about, I'm feeling lonely, like there's some void that can't be filled, and will never be filled.

I dunno...maybe this will help.

**As it turns out, I fell asleep before posting this, but I guess I'll post anyway.

No comments: